So grateful for modern medicine today!
I've been feeling really sick and tired lately. My stomach is getting bigger and I swear there's something moving around in there.
So I went to my team of doctors to see if they could figure out what's wrong with me. They all agreed that I must be on the tapeworm diet, because they all had cousins with the same symptoms and they were all on the diet.
I told them that I had, of course, thought about using a weight loss worm but I could never actually go through with it. I have trouble enough swallowing regular worms let alone tapeworms.
So that couldn't have been the problem.
My doctors were stumped and told me that maybe I should consult a real doctor because they wanted to get back to their soccer game and that when I see the doctor he's probably going to want to be paid with real money and not a bunch of broken crayons like I had given them.
I was a little confused.
I looked down into my purse and saw that it was filled with broken crayons. What happened to all that cash I could have sworn was there a second ago.
Then I looked around me and realized that these "doctors" were a bunch of kids wearing white soccer jerseys playing on a field.
Weird.
Add hallucinating to my list of symptoms.
So today I went to a real doctor and after a little pee test I was diagnosed with pregnancy.
"Congratulations you're pregnant!" the doctor said.
"Huh?"
"You're with child."
"No, I'm pretty sure I left the kids home."
"You've got a bun in the oven."
"uh-ven?"
"You've got a freaking baby growing in you!"
"Huh? What kind of baby? Like a Baby Ruth, because I hate those."
"YOU IDIOT, YOU'RE PREGGO!!!"
"Ohhh.... you mean preggers. Why didn't you say so in the first place?
YAY!
That's awesome!"
Turns out there's a little baby inside me, the boy kind of baby!!!
Due to arrive April 2, 2011.
Crossing my fingers he'll be a day early!
Monday, November 8, 2010
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34 comments. For every comment received:
Mary, I'm thrilled for you! When I was going through my stomach stuff, EVERYONE thought I was pregnant. Nope, just gassy.
YAY!!! Congratulations! Those boy kind of babies are pretty cool.
MARY! This is wonderful Congratulations to you. So thrilled.
Hopefully you are feeling good!
Oh, Mary. I am so thrilled for you. Best news I've had all day!
=D
This is great news!
Yay!
Hooray! The world needs more little Mary's and Z's running around! Congratulations!
I'm so happy for you. I am praying that this little worm stays put until it's time for him to slide out!
If he is born a day early, I think you'd be completely justified in paying the doctor in broken crayons.
Congrats!!
Congrats! That is wonderful:)
HA ha! YAY! I've been hoping this news was coming soon. Congratulations!!
YAY!!! Congratulations!!! This is such exciting news!!! Luv ya!!!
Wonderful news!!!
Congrats!!!!
Oh that is fantastic news!!! Hooray!! Where did you get such a cool pregnancy ticker thing? Totally screams, "I'm going to be a good mamma!" right?
Good job keeping the news under wraps, but I've been hoping to hear this. Really made my evening.
I am so excited for you!!!! Boy kinds of babies are great, and you know that since you have one. But I hear these new ones come with disclaimers that the mom has to eat chocolate 80% of the day. I wish I was having a new, improved baby boy!
congratulations!!!! Best wishes to you for a healthy preggers-cy.
Congrats! Fingers crossed you have an April's Fools Baby!
I've been putting a lot of thought into this, and really, there are a lot of bad days to be born. Christmas, Halloween, April Fool's Day. And Veteran's Day would be the WORST.
Really, it's amazing anyone gets good birthdays at all. It just goes to show that some people were more righteous in the pre-mortal life.
(P.S. Congratulations!)
and then i waZ allllll,
"hey, congratulations! congrats! bien venido!" wait, is that welcome? i swear i took three years of spanish in high school. that is spanish right??? can you give me the address to your fam's restaurant place. i remember wanting to go, but i haven't.
AWWWW! Congratulations! So cool. My grandma was born on April Fools day. I hope you get your wish!
Wowy Zowy! That is FANTASTIC news!!! I am so happy for you!! :)
You are 1 month ahead of me! I am due May 11.
Best wishes!! Yippy!
Congratulations, Mary. It's great news, despite all the sickness stuff. Hang on to those broken crayons; I'm sure they'll come in handy, you'll have to pay the doctors after you deliver of course.
Hooray!!!
Congratulations!!!
Congrats Mary!!! I'm so happy for ya:) This is one lucky little boy to be landing in your family!
April Fools! haha! :) I'm so happy for you Mary! So what's going to be the name of my future son in law? He can still marry one of my daughters even if this time around it isn't a girl, right?
Congratulations! I am thrilled for you! Your pregnancy ticker made me spit out my food with laughter. Thanks alot, I was really enjoying my lunch (aka candy bar).
Congratulations! That's so exciting!
Yay!!
Congratulations!!
congrats Mary!
Holy crap!! That is so freaking awesome! We're due a month apart then. :) I'm having a "boy kind of baby" too!!! WAHOO!!!
So happy for you, Mary!!!
And I'm pretty disappointed with the service my broken crayons get me, too.
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