I'm not quite sure how to make the transition from controversial political post, back to the normal frivolous hogwash I'm used to spewing out.
So I'm just not gonna.
I'm renaming this blog: "Stuff Mary Thinks About Important Stuff Americans Can't Agree on Like Health Care and Immigration and Taxes and Abortion and Wars and Area 51 and National Treasure Book of Secrets and Stuff"
Next Topic of Discussion: Tibet
I think those people who demand to "free Tibet" need to brush up on their history and understand that Tibet has been a part of China for the past 700 years!!!
Or so my Chinese husband tells me, and he should know, he was educated for 14 years by some of the greatest and most loyal communist teachers the People's Republic of China have ever seen.
Here he is swearing his allegiance to the honorable Chairman Mao.
Yeah, he's got a pretty unbiased opinion.
So if you've got a "FREE TIBET" bumper sticker on your Prius, you might as well stick a "FREE HAWAII" one on there too, it's pretty much the same thing.
You can get one here.
But I agree that Hawaii should be free. Then a lot more people would travel there, especially poor people like me.
Poor people like free stuff.
Especially free tropical island stuff.
You know what else we poor people like? The free school lunch they serve across the street every day at school.
I don't go there anymore though, not because I'm rich now and can feed my kids my own sloppy joes, but because last time I went I got yelled at by a mean lunch lady.
Usually, after the kids are full, I finish off what's left on their tray.
I don't like wasting food because there are starving children in China and if I eat what I'm given then those kids don't starve anymore, I think.
So anyway, I was finishing up the goulash Evan didn't want when a lunch lady marched over toward me and told me to spit out what was in my mouth and to never take another bite because if the boss lunch lady caught me eating off my kid's tray, the whole free lunch program would be terminated.
I was pretty upset, but the police officer told me there was nothing they could do and that 911 should only be dialed in an emergency.
Whatever! I don't care anymore; I'm so done crying over this!
So now we all stay home and eat sandwiches. If the kids finish their sandwich, they get a popsicle. Now I've been finding half eaten sandwiches all over the house: in drawers and toy boxes and under couches. What a waste, I guess they don't care about the starving kids.
17 comments. For every comment received:
I think that the top did topple. So there. How's that for some controversy!!
I am totally willing to let Idaho go. I am going to start a "Free Idaho" campaign.
I did that too at our free lunch program and I DARE somebody to yell at me about it! They'd rather I throw the food away then just eat it? Which BTW, it was gross but I just can't throw food away either.
Hey I love Idaho!!! Don't free Idaho! If u free Hawaii then my mom may float away and I don't want that. We can't just free islands like that. If there's nothing to hold them then they may just float off and crash into japan or Australia or Africa or something like that and how fun would Hawaii be if it floated into antartica? No fun at all bc it would be cold.
If we free Hawaii the Japanese will just take it. So we might as well keep it after all.
You know that Texans are always threatening to become their own country, right? It's weird because people here always joke about it but they're kind of serious about it too.
I'm glad this blog of yours is free. If it weren't, though, I'd probably pay for it.
=)
Let's keep Hawaii - but I can think of at least 20 other states we can free :)
I love the T-shirt that says
"FREE TIBET with the purchase of another Tibet of equal or greater value."
I would never go back to that lunch program either. You should send them a singing "Lunchlady Land" telegram along with a photoshopped pic of that particular lunchlady dancing with Sloppy Joe.
(And if you don't like Adam Sandler, you may not get this.)
Ha ha ha ha ha! My mom always said if we didn't finish our food she would send it to the starving kids in Ethiopia. So when I didn't want to finish my food, I imagined my mom mailing my half-eaten sandwich in a regular envelope marked "Ethiopia" and some starving kid was so happy when he checked the mail. Then I realized that if I didn't eat my food, I just got in trouble, and the kids in Ethiopia still were starving.
I'm pretty sure the top toppled even though I never want to see Leonardo DiCaprio happy, dream or no dream.
I wish I had pictures of my husband doing that. Oh, the blogs I could blog!
It's a good thing you have a husband with a communist education. You'll know way more stuff than we will.
Yes, let's throw away the uneaten food rather than feed it to hungry moms. Mean lunch ladies. And Chairman Mao---man, seeing that bigger than life painting in Tienanmen Square made me laugh.
I was going to say exactly what Kristina said, so I guess Kristina and I are on Team Top Topples. Or maybe I should say Team Top Toppled, because when I say topples it's way too easy to think I got my double letters switched around and don't like wearing shirts. But I definitely like wearing shirts or other attire on my upper half.
Guess who is going to WabiSabi tonight...
Guess, dang it!
Fine, I am.
Either way, free or not, you rock!
The reason I'm so fat is because my mom couldn't afford to send all my uneaten food to China!
Missing you
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