It all started when I first brought Evan home from the hospital, almost five years ago. He was so tiny and sweet and the crib was so big and stupid, how was I going to let him sleep there.
I tried, I really tried.
I placed him in the crib and just stared at him for a long time. How could I just walk away and leave him there, all those feet away from me?
I've heard it's dangerous to sleep with newborns because you could roll over on top of them, but I was 100% sure I couldn't do that. I'm a very light sleeper; an ant blinking could wake me up.
So I picked him up, kicked the crib and shouted "YOU CAN'T HAVE HIM!" and took him to my bed, where he stayed for the next 4 and a half years.
When Meici came along Z was determined that she would sleep in her crib. I told him if he wanted that then he'd have to go get her at night when she cried, bring her to me, let me feed her, and then put her back in the crib.
That lasted about three hours.
So Meici joined our slumber party.
It eventually had to end though.
I promised Z that when we moved back to America I would work on getting the kids to sleep in their own room. I was sure it was going to be a nightmare. I had seen so many episodes of Supper Nanny where the parents were trying desperately to get their kids to sleep in their own beds. It took those parents all night, many nights before they finally succeeded. The kids would scream and cry and keep getting out of their beds. It freaked me out! I didn't want to do it. But I had to.
So, one night I put the kids in their bed, they said their prayers, I read them a story and I hugged and kissed them good night. I kept telling them this is your room now, this is your bed, you have to sleep here from now on, and if you sleep here all night I'll give you so much candy in the morning your tummy will explode! I slowly backed away from them, whispering "caaaaandy, caaaaaandy."
I just couldn't stop talking,
"Stay here guys, okay?"
"Candy."
"Your bed now, okay?"
"Sleep here all night okay?"
"So much candy"
They both said "OKAY MOM, GOOD NIGHT!"
I finally went to my own bed and just waited; I knew they'd be trying to sneak into my room at any moment. But it never happened, they just went to sleep.
What's up with that.
Didn't they love me?
Then a few nights ago, after several months of them sleeping perfectly in their room, I said "Let's all go sleep in Mommy and Daddy's bed, yay! That'll be fun!"
So they grabbed their pillows and blankets and ran to our room, so excited.
We tickled and giggled and hid under blankets. It was so much fun to have them back. I thought, this must be what camping feels like.
Then we started settling down and getting sleepy. I was almost asleep when Evan said "Mom, can I go sleep in my room please."
That hurt.
"Of course you can, Evan. And go ahead and toss my heart in the garbage on your way there, it's broken anyway."
So, Evan left.
Meici held my face in her hands and told me that she'd stay with me.
That sweetheart.
But she left too, when she thought I was asleep.
All these years I thought they needed me so much. I thought weaning them from the family bed was going to be a huge horrible mess. I thought they'd cry and scream and miss me so much.
What happened to the days when Evan had to be holding my arm in order to fall asleep, my soft marshmallowy arm. And Meici would sleep by me on my other side and always make sure my head was facing hers. If I turned my head to look at Evan she'd grab my face and turn it back, I had to be looking at her for her to fall asleep.
But they haven't done those things in a long time. I guess they've been ready for this change for a while now.
This explains why I used to always wake up in the middle of the night and find Evan searching the internet for nearby hotels. Poor kid, maybe I snore, I know I'm definitely a sleep-kicker.
But the other night made me feel a whole lot better. I woke up to find one of my kids lying next to me. I'm not sure which one it was, it was still kind of dark, and they both have those same noses and eyes and horrible breath. But whichever kid it was, I was so happy it was there and that it needed me. Or maybe it knew that I needed him... it must have been Evan.
See, don't they look alike?
23 comments. For every comment received:
Wow they do look alike!! And they do and will still need you.
They look enough alike to be related.
I love this post.
Your kids are adorable. I think I want an Asian baby.
Sounds like it's time for another baby. *WINK*
My almost nine year old still shows up in our bed some nights--don't give up hope.
They really do look alike!! And seriously--I could send O over to sleep with you. She thinks that my bed is her bed.
They are like little clones! Well, except for the gender stuff. Love this post so much!
Great post...and they look so much alike its eerie!
=)
They're so cute!
I get this. My son (3) slept in my bed when he was a baby, too, and I still lie down with him while he goes to sleep every night, but he will not even consider sleeping in our bed anymore. I guess it's a good thing.
Good post!
I knew I wanted a lot of kids, so Dean looked into the future and said the kids would have to sleep in their own beds. (Also he and I are both very deep sleepers and probably really would suffocate the baby.) We do use a cradle in our room and I'm always very sad when the baby outgrows it and has to be moved to the crib in his or her room.
Then I forget all about the kids, but I do love those times when I wake up with a kid in my bed.
Also, none of my babies but one would ever nap next to me past about 6 weeks old, so I get as many newborn/mommy naps in as I possibly can in those first weeks. I LOVE naps with a baby. And I think 6 weeks is not nearly enough payoff for 9 months of pregnancy.
(Is this comment long enough? Or do I need to write more?)
I did the same thing but what you saw on Super Nanny happened to me. She sceamed and cried that she just wanted me. I held out it worked but she still likes to sneak in bed with me on the weekends. Or some weeknights. Or just last night. She's 6. Practically still a baby right?
It's either now or when they are 18
That could be awkward!
Adorable kids!
Hmmm maybe the secret is to let them sleep in your bed until you're sick of it. We can't get our 4 year old to leave us alone for more than one night in a row! Even when we promise enough candy to make her explode.
Don't worry, they still need you, if nothing else so they can wipe their boogers on you or hold their toys.
You and I are so much alike.
Except for the part that you like kids to be in your bed, but when I find kids in my bed I kind of turn into a serial killer.
Okay, so maybe we're nothing alike, but I like you anyway.
I love this post. And I think you are hilarious. And I love that your babies are twins.
What cuties!
I need to kick my son out of my bed.
Are you sure that's not the same kid? If they look that much alike, how can you really tell if that's just two pictures of the same kid, or two different kids? Maybe if you marked one of your children with a big sharpie tattoo across the forehead and then redid the sleeping pictures, it would prove that it's both of your kids and not just the same one twice.
I'm very possessive of my bed. My husband should feel lucky I even let him sleep in his little corner of it. The kids figured out quickly that they're on their own....bed-wise.
Wow they DO look alike!! Like twins! they will always need you Mary, but they need their own kicking room now, lol!
Those are two adorable children!
You do realize that they're not sleeping, they're "recharging"
Um, so my toddler decided to start having sleep issues last week. I think he's trying to get us ready for the new baby coming in a couple of weeks. But after a week of hellish nights, I have to say, I think I'd rather have your problems just this one time . . .
I really like this post :)
We just moved Naomi from right next to our bed in her cradle to about 6 feet away from the bed in her cradle. Laugh all you want, but I have a video monitor and I have it right next to my bed so I can watch what she is doing 6 feet away from me. Putting her in her own room in her crib is scary... She's so tiny! But the first night she was 6 feet away she woke up crying once... I thought she was sad and noticed that I wasn't breathing my stinky breath at her. But then the second night (last night) she slept like a rock and only woke for her once a night feeding and went back down and didn't make a peep. She slept better than she has ever slept before..... 6 feet away from me. But, I got the best sleep in I don't remember when... October, maybe? So, I guess in the end I'm okay with it. Baby steps... or more like feet away steps.
And your kids are super cute. And yes, they look a lot alike.
sweet, sweet post! It really is. Isn't it sad how guilt trips just don't work on them until they become teenagers?
They really are totally adorable!
I do sometimes miss snuggling with mine. But then I remember how much I actually like to stretch out in my bed.
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