You see, the only good thing about the internet in China are the millions of bootleg movies you can watch for free. Or maybe that's the only bad thing about the internet in China, I guess it depends on how honest of a person you are. So having a Chinese IP address is just bollocks. All the blogs are banned and so is that youtube site. So when I first got here I bought an American IP address so I could boogie board the web (I'm not at surfing status just yet) without any censorship. But it turned out that the address was only good for a month and then you had to pay more money for more months. But I didn't have more money so I had to get a job writing fortune cookie fortunes. They had me working really long hours, so if you get a fortune that reads "brain too ungood to write lucky cookie phrase" and your lucky numbers are "purple monkey dishwasher" I'm really sorry.
A lot has happened since my last post, for example Farrah Fawcett passed away on the worst possible day a celebrity could pass away on: the day Michael Jackson died.
But in opposite news, my husband celebrated his 26th birthday! Since I spent all of my fortune cookie money on my IP address I had to make him a gift with my bare two own hands.
This thing
This thing
His ties were just lying around collecting essence of mushu pork so I decided to make them their own little forbidden city.
China really brings out the genius in me, am I right?
Before 
After 
I know it's a pretty pitiful present but that's what he gets for bringing me to a country that doesn't have an Albertson's right down the street where I can buy him a flashlight and a bucket of neapolitan ice cream like I usually do for his birthday.
Here are very many pictures for those of you who like seeing pictures.
For those who don't like pictures, GET OFF MY BLOG!
After 
I know it's a pretty pitiful present but that's what he gets for bringing me to a country that doesn't have an Albertson's right down the street where I can buy him a flashlight and a bucket of neapolitan ice cream like I usually do for his birthday.
Here are very many pictures for those of you who like seeing pictures.
For those who don't like pictures, GET OFF MY BLOG!
This is at the aquarium, the largest inland aquarium in our solar system. It was very auspicious.
The kids finished all their dried seaweed (that's what Evan's holding in the bottom picture) so they got to eat cotton candy for the first time in their lives while they watched the dolphin show.
June 1st was Children's Day, so Z caught the kids some grasshoppers. That's not a Chinese tradition or anything, Z just really likes grasshoppers.
June 1st was Children's Day, so Z caught the kids some grasshoppers. That's not a Chinese tradition or anything, Z just really likes grasshoppers.
Go ahead and click on the picture. My kids aren't abnormally small, those are just some really big grasshoppers.
This is the same lake the 2008 Summer Olympian Triathletes swam in. It's just down the street from our house.
Kids in puddles in the front yard.
