Suicide? Are you kidding me? That glob of blog was a rising star.
Had you noticed how many followers it had up until it's death?
Thousands!
And every single one of it's posts had at least a couple hundred comments; even that post announcing the return of egg nog.
I even heard it was approaching it's 200th post and had something so amazing planned that all the other blogs would be telling their blogkids about it for decades to come.
This blog was so weak and in love with attention, it never even thought about thinking about committing suislog.
No, this blog was... murdered!
I'll tell you all what happened someday, but right now it's too hard to type through the tears.
I should really get back to my crying corner.
87 comments. For every comment received:
Oh no! Oh please tell me it isn't my fault. Now I am worried. If this is connected with me, it isn't my fault, not really, it is Whitney's. Blame her. Or someone else entirely, in which case I will mourn silently from the sidelines while I watch the trainwreck without guilt.
wv:sisme
sisme and myself all alone.
wtf?
Oh my goodness! What happened!!?!?
Woah!!! What happened?
How sad! I would blame Becky in Alaska. You know how jealous she gets.
I hope everything's okay.
Oh no!!!!!!!!
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Um...
What are you doing?
I NEED YOU.
I LOVE YOU.
WHERE ARE YOU?
Okay, that was dramatic, but I'm truly hoping you'll be right back from you corner....
What the H happened?!? This is seriously a tragedy! :( Please come back you beautiful globbiness of a blog...I miss you...
What the . . . !!!! ACK!!!
Oh Mary - NO!!! I hope you didn't lose all of your beautimous posts. Quick, someone pull up Google Reader and do a cut and paste on all of her old posts.
I'm so sorry.
Yeah, I've got all your posts in Reader, Mary.
Unless this is an elaborate hoax to get more comments, in which case, BRAVO!
Maybe it was kidnapped?! Did it leave a ransom note? I'll pitch in... Name the amount!
Nooooooo!!
That's so sad!
Come back to us. D:
What happened? Please tell!
What happened?! Don't leave everyone hanging!
Crapstick is right! I want my favorite bloggy back, bloggy back, bloggy back...
Ok, so now rise like phoenix from the ashes!! that is if you really want to!
can't wait to see what you come up with! :)
Peace-Rene
was she murdered by Michael Myers?
What??? How in the world?!?!?!
Things like this don't happen! This is a dream, right?
Um, Mary? You are Mary right? Or is this her blog murdering kidnappers? Hellllloooooooo?
If your blog really went up in smoke I'm very very sorry! Hope to hear from you again soon.
Blessings, Whit
Mary! Mary! Where are you! I came over to give you an award for your fabulous and funny blog, but it's gone!!!
Please come back Mary!
I'm so sorry about your blog, hope you can find it. I will continue to read you whatever you do.
Hope they catch the killer....
Mary, Mary, where did you go?
Sweet merciful crap! What happened?!
Uh-oh. Mary? You can't leave us! Some of us depend on you for our one shining moment of laughter and levity in our otherwise abysmal existences!
PLEASE NO!
This can't be happening!
NO! NO! NO! ALSO NO!!!
Mary, don't you do it..don't you... Remember when you talked me off the ledge, and I didn't listen to you, well.....I'm not a good listener. Mary! Mary! are you there..can you hear me...can you hear me..must have blog resuscitation STAT!
WHAT THE H?!
Oh Mary!
THis happened to me once... I was devistated. But then i was able to get it all back... let me know if there is any way i can help... because i just lied and said it happened to me once... when really it happened to me 3 times!!! (i didnt want to sound like a complete mess up, but i am... a lot, especially when it comes to destroying my blog!)
Seriously...what?
This is the saddest thing I have ever heard! SO SAD!
who? what? where? when? why?
i'm so confused.
GAH! that is CRAPTASTIC. You must find the culprate!!!
I would also say "this is the saddest thing I have ever heard" but I read Crash Test Dummies blog post for today first, so I just can't. But, really, I would be devastated. It's just too awful to contemplate. Unless, of course, this IS the fantastical 200th post thing you referred to. .(crafty!)
Nice gimmick. You even got me to comment. :)
Oh no! What did you do?!! I'm blinded by all the whiteness!
I had no idea that blogs could be murdered.
It's going to be up to you to educate us all so that we can avoid this happening in the future.
I really really hope your blog comes back from the dead!
What in the world! You need a good CSI team to crack this case. What happened?
your MIL got someone to translate for her, huh? Or did hubby and children get jealous and attacked during bloggerfest powwow? I'm sorry for your loss. Miss you already!
WHAT the CRAP?!
Aaaaahhhhhhh! I just found your blog a couple weeks ago, it HAS to come back to life!!!!
Oh Mary, I am SO SORRY. Are you going to share with us what happened? I mean, when you can... through the tears and all.
You'll get back to it....you're young, beautiful, smart, and just as close to perfect as it gets...OH GREAT ONE!
This is a brilliant way to test your fan base. Genius.
I would be saying all sorts of obscenities including "fudge-nuggets" but Crapstick works....
WTHeck happened?????????????????
What did the police say?
I assume you called the police, right??
It's so white...is this what heaven's like??? No, 'cuz your blog would be there...maybe it did die, maybe they needed it more than us (sniff)
mary, i'm crying with you! let me know if you need any help! i'll make you a banner or whatever you need.
What the.....? I don't believe this!
I'm in shock! I would be devastated if this happened to me!! I hope it is fixable somehow!!
what happened?? we need answers!
I know you're husband deleted some post drafts one time, but this time he might be in BIG trouble. Of course at my house a toddler would have done this... just happen to hit he magical keystroke combination that obliterates years of work.
Call in some master data recovery specialist.
uh oh. You been struck by a smooth criminal?
I told you not to back-talk Chairman Mao and show all those little nude Chinese bottoms.
WUT?
But...but...
I desperately care!
Crapstick is right :(
Are you planning a funeral or a revival? Because I'm coming to either. I'll bring cookies. And maybe a box of tissues.
Please tell me that there is hope of a glorious ressurection!
WHAT?! HUH?! COME AGAIN?!
Stop sniveling and explain yourself, woman.
Oh, and I'm so sorry ....
Oh dear. Did you click the "delete my blog" button? Cause, y'know, it says that if you do that it can't be undone.
My word verif is "sompain" which I am translating to be "SOME PAIN." Good luck reviving the blog.
what on earth?!
Man...your blog can't be gone. I am new and you can't be gone already! That would be so unfair.
I think I know who did this dastardly thing to your blog!
It was that lady at dinner the other night. You know, the one who was shooting us all those evil looks because we were obviously having a more enjoyable time than her. I think that after she and her friend asked to be moved to a different table, they sat and plotted to destroy our blogs.
I swear this is not blog blood on my hands -- I just got a little messy with the chocolate syrup. (Out, darn spot!)
Did you find a ransom note? I'll pitch in on the ransom -- I have an empty plastic Laffy Taffy jar I can contribute, for starters. Also a moldy gourd, (although you can't have that one until after Thanksgiving.)
Are ya freakin' kidding me? How am I supposed to go on without my daily does of Mary??
Um, you're kinda freaking me out here.
This can't be happening! First the economy is bust and now this?!?!?! Craptastic crapstick is right. Good grief, are you trying to kill us? Because it is working girl, it is working!! Talk about peeing on my parade!! Let me know if I can help. I am completely computer illiterate, but I can type or dial.
MARY!!
I'm so sorry. I'm so so sorry. I wish I could tell you I copy and pasted every one of your posts into word. I really now wish I did.
I am so curious as to how this tragedy happened. Another argument with the hubs?
I am wearing black right now and have already lowered my flag to half staff.
I hope that the memories you have of your gob of blog will sustain you.I want you to kno that other blogs looked up to her. She was a shining light, a beacon really, in the lives of many a mediocre blog. Your gob of blog will not soon be forgotten.
NOW SERIOUSLY MARY - STOP THIS NONSENSE. I am logging on tomorrow and I better see, "JUST KIDDING" as your tagline. I mean it. Are your o.k.?
Oh no. Where should I send the flowers?
I also hope you have the CSIs from Vegas on the case. They are the best.
What? What's going on? where's your regular bloggy blog blog? Do we need to call out the FBI?
At sunrise tomorrow, you need to face east, do a "salute to the sun" then a "dog facing forward" yoga combination, and the blogging gods will resuscitate your blog for you.
Works every time.
And if it doesn't then it's a sign.
I guess it's just time to get a new hobby, like underwater basket weaving. I hear there's at least twelve people in the continental US doing it now, all because of murdered blogs.
Mary Tong was Murdered?
And you still get 75 comments for this load of crapstick?
Ooooo. Trying to decide if it's the usual brand of blog-overload, or if it's something worse.
I hope it's just overload. If so, you have my sympathy and support. Come back when you figure it out!
If it's something worse, I hope it resolves itself and everythings okay.
Luv Ya!
Mary!! What the crap? It can't be gone GONE? IS Blogger on it??!
freak no this is not happening.
Mary! NO! I hope that everything is o.k.
I am super bummed! I hope these condolences bring you some comfort!
That's okay, Mary. YOU are the blog. If necessary, just start over and keep writing. That's what we come here to see!
Hugs to you.
=)
If this happened to you, could it happen to ANY of us? Cause, I mean, I'm really sorry for you and everything. But I'd be MUCH sorrier if it happened to ME!
Good luck. I do hope you can retrieve your writing.
So insane. Sorry for your loss, Mary. Hope it's an open and shut case and not dragged through our legal system for years and years.
Soooo hopin' you'll be back at it soon Mary Quite Contrary!
MARY Christmas!!
Hi Mary...
I was just thinking about you... and missing your cute lil' blog.
Hope all is well! :)
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